Time scares me

Summer has been a wonderful break. Even though it has rained for a solid 3 weeks... its nice. We actually have grass which is an unusual development.

I'm having to have time off of brain usage but at the same time its hard to have so much time to think. I hate how fast everything moves. I want to skip ahead in time but I don't want to skip so quickly through my single four months that I am allotted with my very favorite person. It's going to fast and it's scary. In a mere six months I could know where I'm spending the next four years of my life. Hopefully, Plan Yummy Cookie will succeed. If not, we will manage but the prospect is an enticing one. I just want to hang on to every second possible while Jackson is here. I'm trying not to think about the end of August but it always finds a way into my head. And its stressful and sad.

Besides that, I'm nervous for camp. I am scared of not being on the smarter end of things. I'm also scared that what I think I want to do with my life is going to be completely wrong. Then all my plants are going to be thrown off. And being a planner... That's not exactly what I want to happen. I mean, I'm glad that I'll have exposure before I jump in but I'm also terrified for the nine days at UC Berkeley that are rapidly approaching.

Well, junior year stress still continues since I will be at BMHS at 7:45 in the morning to retake the ACT. Fun. But then Jackson and I are off to Denver and I'm so excited! We are going to have our wonderfully homey day and then go to the Old Spaghetti Factory and then to RENT! I'm rather thrilled about it :-)

Now that I've let my thoughts out I suppose sleep is in order.

Love from one confused and anxious but so very lucky girl ♥